Why children are a miracle, but not the center of the universe, or How to balance work and family life

How to balance work, family life and motherhood © depositphotos.com

As a researcher of ancient folklore, I can say that the basis of the ideology of our ancestors is a balance in everything. Balance: between rain and sun, between spiritual and material, between light and dark, cold and warm. No bias in any direction is healthy. How is anorexia better than obesity? What is the value of a body without a soul and vice versa? What happens if a prolonged heat or torrential rain sets in? That is why the search for inner harmony and balance is the main purpose of life. Do I think I found this balance? Not.

Why children are a miracle, but not the center of the universe

I adore my children, and I am grateful to them for the trust and the opportunity to bring them into this world. But with their appearance comes the fear of falling out of life, being forgotten or unnecessary. Therefore, I often become hostage to situations where I choose not to see children for certain events, and then I understand that the choice could be different.

Now for me the main challenge is to overcome this fear. Everything in life is passing, and the time when children need attention, love and “hands on” will also pass. Events take place, important, significant or unimportant, and the love of children is eternal! And if they do not add attention now, while they are small and the mother has time and need for them, there is a risk that they will look for compensation for maternal attention in mothers in adult life.

How to balance work, family life and motherhood Anna Zakletskaya © Press Service

But! Even in ancient Ukrainian culture in the first place was a woman, then a husband, and only then children. If a woman sacrifices herself or a relationship with her husband, then it will also have a dramatic effect on children. Happy mom and wife – happy children and family. And the daily search for balance in perpetual learning: be able to listen and hear yourself, your true needs, desires, be aware of motivation — including fears.

Maternity is great! This is a cosmic experience that cannot be compared with anything in the world. And the peculiarity of a woman – to bring new lives into the world – is an amazing experience. It is possible that not every woman needs it. If birth occurred, it is important to understand and accept the fact that motherhood is just a wonderful property, and not an excuse for “food for two,” “I gave the best years of my life instead of pursuing a career” and others.

Children are guests of our house, and husband is the owner

Under motherhood, it is convenient to hide your under-sales or weaknesses and laziness to work on yourself. I am for honesty in front of me: if I already choose “I have it for two,” it’s only because I want it, and not because I need it. This also applies to implementation. Experience shows that if there is a desire, then there are opportunities and strengths.

If the implementation does not occur, then probably not so much you want or fears are stronger than desire. For example, the need to be in a state of eternally depleted sacrifice in order to receive attention and support, but there is no experience to receive them in another way.

How to balance work, family life and motherhood How to balance work, family life and motherhood © Press Service

It is important to remember that children are guests of our house: you give birth, take care, certainly love, teach with respect for their identity and personal boundaries, and let go when the time comes. And the husband remains. Therefore, in no case can not put children above her husband. Otherwise, he will begin to look for tenderness and love where he will not be the last in the list of priorities.

For me, it is extremely important to look attractive to my husband. I do not know how I do it – this is a question for him, but I definitely leave time for a beauty salon and procedures for the care of hair, face, skin in general (massage, pressure therapy, wraps) and so on.

Pregnancy and motherhood are definitely not a reason to put an end to our femininity. Quite the contrary! These are all components of the sub-personality of a woman: mother, lover, girlfriend, sometimes a deep philosopher "botan", an interesting personality with his interests, tastes and preferences – the number of faces is infinite.

Maternity and work is synergy

When they ask, “How do you manage to do everything?”, I answer: “Who told you that I can do it ?!” Of course, the lifestyle and schedule is changing – this must be accepted. And the question is not that there is no one to look after the children. I dream every day, when I come home and kiss my daughter's heels, talk about my son with tea, turn on my favorite old film and watch it with my husband on the couch, when everyone in the house is already sleeping.

The child brings with it all that is necessary. Therefore, you should not wait until I earn, until I finish the next project. The state of pregnancy is sacral and cosmic. Intuition sharpens, puzzles are added, everything is in its place, the necessary comes in the right quantities and at the right time. Therefore, motherhood is very complementary work. This is not only a new experience, but the discovery of secret energy gateways, which often really border on magic.

How to balance work, family life and motherhood How to balance work, family life and motherhood © Press Service

Maternity affairs are not a hindrance, just get rid of excess

The desire to find balance is a perpetual motion and a constant search. It is interesting to track personal development, internal transformation and their external reflection. From my own observations I can say for sure that motherhood is the path to balance in everything:

You can organize your life in all its manifestations and areas as you like. Motherhood is not only an obstacle, but also help! Free schedule, work from home, nanny, technology – everything in your power. To do everything is an opportunity to weed out the excess and to feel especially subtle, to reflect on the main issues: do I really want to do everything, do I need all this? All that is truly yours will definitely be on time! One of my life-long challenges is the fear of dependence on men, the desire to prove one’s self-sufficiency and independence. What did I realize today? When I allow myself to be a woman dependent on a man, especially in the last months of pregnancy, and I work less after giving birth, my husband gets a tremendous energy boost! Together with support, faith in him and love, dependence gives a striking effect – he begins to earn more! And she gladly puts everything I want at my feet. The circle closes and everything multiplies: I put even more gratitude and faith, and the husband grows and extracts even more.

Moderate emancipation is beautiful. I admire women who pull on everything. But if it can be different, then why not? Moreover, everyone benefits from this synergy.

Earlier, we suggested that you familiarize yourself with 5 signs that your superiority complex is.


Alla Kostromicheva in the lookbook of the Ukrainian brand ELENA GURANDA Basic wardrobe for the summer: 10 things you can't do without

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Angelo L. Lyons

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